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Author Topic: Retail sales stories and anecdotes  (Read 2886 times)

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Fishyneil

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Retail sales stories and anecdotes
« on: Nov 02, 2007, 07:04 AM »
Pretty much all of us have had or have a job in retail sales. Let's hear some cool stories about customer/sales clerk interaction. Funny responses to customer questions or funny questions customers have asked you. I'll start...
 As a teenager, I worked in a donut shop and one day a rather large lady came to the counter and asked for a dozen donuts. I said "Is that for here, or to go". She was not impressed and I got in shit from my boss.
Fishy
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walterx2

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« Reply #1 on: Nov 02, 2007, 08:28 AM »
Friends of mine own a butcher shop/meat market. This shop has been in the same spot since 1910. Their specialty is Slovenian Kolbassi which they make year round but is an Easter and Christmas tradition for a lot of people along with kishka, Baked Lamb etc . This is not your usual store bought kolbassi. It is coarse ground and is loaded with garlic and other spices. It is processed and smoked in their smoke house in their shop.

So every Easter and Christmas they are very very busy. Their used to be lines outside the door (As the older generation has passed on and the younger has moved away it is still busy but not as busy it used to be) and the shop would be filled to the max.

I would help them every Easter and Christmas. One day the store is packed and I'm working the counter. I ask who's next and a gentleman I am. I look up and who is it but fucking Nick Perry. So I yell over to my buddy who owns the store, "Rick, you have a celebrity in the store, its Nick Perry". The people in the store notice its him and start to mumble to each other.  For some background on Nick Perry see:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980_Pennsylvania_Lottery_scandal

So Nick gives me his order, I go and fill it and as I hand him his order I say in a loud voice " Nick, that will be $6.66. The store full of people busted out laughing and Nick said "fuck you you asshole" and stormed out of the store. Without his kolbassi.
« Last Edit: Nov 02, 2007, 12:58 PM by walterx2 »
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Ms Vee

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« Reply #2 on: Nov 06, 2007, 12:02 AM »
Does wholesale stories count? j/k
Every now and then at my work, a customer will wheel their buggy up to the till and just stand there, not bothering to unload any groceries onto the conveyor belt.  When I ask them if are going to put anything on the til, they ask "can't you just scan everything in the buggy?  There's usually a load of shit in there!  I like to tell them  "No, the machine that scans everything from the buggy is out of order today!" 
Another thing that comes to mind... years ago I used to work with one guy who sometimes would say to a customer "fuck you like a box?"  The customer would say "pardon me?!" Then my  (ex) co-worker would say "I said, would you like a box?"

I have posted the following before, but I will repeat it again, for those that never read it.

A couple of days ago at work I was ringing a customer's order through and a mesh bag of avocados fell onto the floor.  I picked them up and checked them to see if they were still good.  The guy started fretting about how I had dropped his produce and lecturing me about what happens when you drop produce. My packer/assistant took the bag and asked the customer, very politely, if he would like another bag.  The guy said that he would.  So my packer had to go to the back of the store to get another one.  After he came back and the customer checked it and said that that one was much better and then left.  Andrew, my packer, said to me "that guy was being a dick, so I just went and came back with the same bag."  I had him give me a high five!

Cappy

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« Reply #3 on: Nov 06, 2007, 01:02 AM »
Was working in the mens wear section at the Bay in Calgary. A gentleman came in to try on dress shirts. I helped him select a few to try on in the change room. After a few minutes I peek my head around the corner and ask if he needs any help, standard Bay procedure. He asks me to come in and he opens the stall door and pow...the fuckers wearing nothing but a dress shirt and a hard on. A GTFO was delivered and I took a coffee break so not to kill him.
You can't just give up on pulling up your pants!


Shit machine gun

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« Reply #4 on: Nov 06, 2007, 05:10 AM »
i bet you liked it
2009-2010 TPB FANTASY HOCKEY CHAMPION. 

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shake

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« Reply #5 on: Nov 06, 2007, 08:51 AM »
Yes but how was the dress shirt, did it fit ok?

melba the disco queen

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« Reply #6 on: Nov 06, 2007, 09:22 PM »
'Do I look absolutely divine and regal, and yet at the same time very pretty and rather accessible?' - Queenie, Black Adder

Cappy

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« Reply #7 on: Nov 06, 2007, 11:47 PM »
Yes but how was the dress shirt, did it fit ok?

It was a bit tight around the neck. Oh wait, thats cause I tied it around his neck afterwards.

Ms Vee

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« Reply #8 on: Dec 10, 2007, 01:56 AM »
Today at work I had this elderly couple in my line-up.  They must have been in their late 70's.  I complemented the women on her Christmas sweater-jacket. The husband who was behind her in line pipes up and says "Ya, I purchased that for her!  The things you do for sex!"  Well I just about fell over!  He then starts telling me a joke. He asks "How do you know if you are over-sexed?" He then mumbles some answer, which I then say, "Pardon me?"  He answers "It makes you lose your hearing!"  His wife, who was busy writing out a cheque, tells me to just ignore him.  And she makes a mistake writing the amount on the cheque.  Poor woman.  :rofl:

melba the disco queen

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« Reply #9 on: Jan 24, 2008, 03:33 PM »
Yesterday, I walked into so many customers' farts I lost count.  :fart:

melba the disco queen

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« Reply #10 on: Jul 26, 2008, 10:04 PM »
I had to giggle to myself today when I saw a customer wearing a t-shirt with a picture of himself & his wife on it - like one of those homemade iron-on jobs.

Just a little piece of advice for anytime you're in a store at the check-out, please get off your cell phone. Continuing to talk on your cell phone & virtually ignoring the cashier makes the cashier feel like a piece of garbage. It's common decency to treat the cashier like a human that matters. (Unless it is like a super emergency, but if that's the case then why the hell are you taking the time to wait in line & make a purchase [for anything besides medicine]?) Don't you love embedded parentheses?

melba the disco queen

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« Reply #11 on: Aug 30, 2008, 05:02 PM »
Although I feel like I'm having a conversation with myself in this thread, I would still like to share something that happened at work today. A customer came in last night (when I wasn't working) & returned 2 books she had ordered from us & needed a refund; the customer called & spoke with me this morning saying that last night someone from my store had called her to ask her to come back into the store because the refund wasn't processed properly to her credit card. However, the way she tried to explain this to me did not make any sense to me & I had to get her to explain what she was asking me at least 3 times before I had an idea of what went wrong (none of the other cashiers left a note for me this morning explaining what had gone wrong). The customer was understandably frustrated with me & said she'd call back when the cashier who had made the mistake came in for his shift, so I said ok. A few minutes later, I realized what had happened so I called the customer back & let her know it was possible to correct the mistake over the phone if she wanted, all I needed was her order information; she seemed pleased that I could do this for her, but needed to call me back in a couple minutes. When she did, I was able to properly process the refund & get her credit card refunded properly; I apologised for the inconvenience we had caused her & thought that she was satisfied that the mistake had been corrected. Anyway, later in the day, about 15 minutes before the cashier came in who had made the mistake the previous night, the phone rang & with our caller ID I could see that it was the customer calling back (I had told her during the first confusing phone call when the cashier's shift would start so that she could speak with him). I answered the phone & she immediately hung up without even speaking; about a minute passes & the phone rings again, & I see it's her again, so I pick up again, thinking that maybe she mistakenly hung up the first time, but she immediately hangs up again! This really irritated me, mostly because she didn't even have the courtesy to speak to me (to ask for the other cashier, or whatever). I thought that would be it, but she called back a couple hours later & when I answered the phone this time, she just said, 'Sorry, I have the wrong number.' Afterwards, we joked how I should answer the phone next time, or if I should just hang up on her. For whatever reason, this situation really bothered me. I felt that I helped the customer get what she wants, so there's no reason for her to be calling us again; or if there was still a problem, why couldn't she at least speak to me? Anyway, the cashier who had made the mistake ended up calling her & leaving a message on her machine, I don't know exactly what he said, but I hope it satisfys her.

Tiggy Puddin

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« Reply #12 on: Aug 30, 2008, 05:49 PM »
Lol, Melba, the thing that struck me weird about your customer was that she'd ordered two books and wanted to bring them back! Had she read them and not really liked them?

Customers can be so rude, and sometime they are the ones you try to help out the most!


www.portcockerton.com  "Don't be sad Tiggy, YOU are the liquor, you've always been the liquor." ~ MC

melba the disco queen

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« Reply #13 on: Aug 30, 2008, 09:26 PM »
I don't know the reason she didn't want the books, when it's a special order (which we do over the company's internet site) I don't care what condition we send the books back in because it's not going to be staying in our store. We have a 14 day policy & people were still trying to bring back books from Christmas in like June & July, it's nuts. The most common reason people bring back books is they receive one as a gift that they already have.

jakemaster1390

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« Reply #14 on: Sep 01, 2008, 09:16 PM »
Had a nutso customer come through the drive through of our Tim Hortons. The previous order we had a person come through and then as an afterthought added a few more sandwiches at the window and so it took about seven minutes to get her processed, well the next car was pissed that she had to wait in line, and she also had a food order, well when she came to the window, something went wrong with her order and also while pissed about waiting, she demanded to see our assistant manager. Well Unfortunatly she was busy at the moment due to her counting and putting away our order for our supplies and couldn't be interrupted. Well usually in that case if the manager or assistant is unavailable then the baker is the second in command of the store, so she came out and tried to deal with the customer. Well the customer didn't like what she had to say and called our baker a high-school drop out while in fact I know that she has just recently graduated from school and is moving on to a post-secondary school.

Customers can be so rude
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melba the disco queen

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« Reply #15 on: Dec 13, 2008, 09:39 PM »
During the holidays things get pretty wild in the store; there are hundreds of customers in the store at any given moment, each employee is busy helping customers with at least one or two waiting to be helped afterward & the store is a complete mess. It's a little hectic. Anyway, when I try to work quickly, sometimes my brain doesn't filter what comes out of my mouth; there's a couple of times so far that when I think about what I just said, I crack up.
In my mall there is also a Sears where people can pick up items they have ordered from the catalogue. A customer came in with a large parcel from Sears, wrapped up in a bag with no handle; trying to be helpful I offered him a larger bag for his book so that he could put his Sears order in there as well. This is approximately what I said:
"I see you have a big package there." While I nodded to the Sears parcel he was holding at waist level. I don't think the customer caught on to my racy comment, or if he did, his ego got a boost.
The next incident happened today while I was ringing a young girl (12ish) through who was buying Duma Key by Stephen King for her father. She asked me if it was a good book & I told her that it was ok, not the best Stephen King book, but still ok. Then she asked if her father would like it, to which I responded:
"I don't know, I'm not a mind reader." Which I did not mean to say in a snotty way, but more of a joke, however I don't think that's how it came off.
A couple of my co-workers heard me say this to her & cracked up a little, calling me pretty cold-hearted.

Also today it was another fart day in my store; it seemed that I was walking into customer farts in every aisle.
It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas... :lol:

scoobysnack

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« Reply #16 on: Dec 15, 2008, 08:46 PM »
Damn Melba, your job sounds stressful, especially constantly walking through farts.  :lol: 

I have a shit story for you.  One time on New Years Eve when I was like 21 or so, and drunk :beer:, we went into a McDonalds to order some food just as they were closing.  We took out time to order, and took our time to eat, all the while getting bad looks from the employees who wanted us to leave, so they could close down, clean, and leave to go party.  After finishing my meal ...
Spoiler (hover to show)

I work retail service support, sitting at a computer with phone/internet, for a company that has a 100% garuntee, so I don't really have to deal with very many escalated situations. 

Years ago, I worked at a famous Sub sandwich franchise, and I did a lot of gross things, and saw a lot of gross things.  The only thing I will say, is don't fuck with the people who make your food.
« Last Edit: Dec 15, 2008, 08:56 PM by scoobysnack »

Ms Vee

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« Reply #17 on: Dec 15, 2008, 09:03 PM »
Ewww. words escape me right now!  :flush:

A few weeks back, I was busy working at my till. It had been really busy that day, with things not running as smoothly as I would like. Things can get really held up, like having to get a SKU number, or the customer is debit machine challenged. Anyway, I had a couple of customers in front of me and I hear one Lady say to another "They are so slow here!"  I am trying to go as quickly as possible.  I think to myself - "Hello, I can hear you!"  So I decided right then that it was a good time to do a money drop, clearing the excess cash out of my drawer. That took another couple of minutes.  She talks about slow, I'll show her slow!!!  :P  :doublewhammy:
 
« Last Edit: Dec 15, 2008, 09:31 PM by Ms Vee »

shake

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« Reply #18 on: Dec 15, 2008, 09:08 PM »

I have a shit story for you.  One time on New Years Eve when I was like 21 or so, and drunk :beer:, we went into a McDonalds to order some food just as they were closing.  We took out time to order, and took our time to eat, all the while getting bad looks from the employees who wanted us to leave, so they could close down, clean, and leave to go party.  After finishing my meal ...
Spoiler (hover to show)


Holy shit I can't believe you'd actually post that like your proud of it or something.  You have no sympathy for the poor clerks that worked at McDonald and just wanted to go home, rather than wait around for some drunken assholes to eat?

heavymetaldick

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« Reply #19 on: Dec 16, 2008, 01:55 PM »
I said "Is that for here, or to go". She was not impressed and I got in shit from my boss.
Fishy

I gotta side with you on this on, Fishy. Its always a 50/50 possibility with fat people and food. Wouldnt she be more embarrassed if you bagged them all to go but really she was going to wolf them all down anyway?

She kept her dignity and ate them all on her way to her car!
Fuck off, I've got work to do.

Brophy

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« Reply #20 on: Dec 16, 2008, 03:27 PM »
A-hole.
Nom Nom Nom

scoobysnack

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« Reply #21 on: Dec 16, 2008, 10:27 PM »

Holy shit I can't believe you'd actually post that like your proud of it or something.  You have no sympathy for the poor clerks that worked at McDonald and just wanted to go home, rather than wait around for some drunken assholes to eat?


Yeah, pretty much.  It's the way she goes.  I've done a lot of crazy things towards.  I'm not as bad as I used to be, because jail made me realize I don't ever want to go back.

http://www.break.com/index/fire-in-the-hole-compilation.html

« Last Edit: Dec 16, 2008, 10:49 PM by scoobysnack »

Becca

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« Reply #22 on: Dec 19, 2008, 01:21 AM »
Wow, scooby, you're all Klass.  You did this when you were 21?  I can see a kid doing it but a 21 year old? And you're still laughing about it?  Pathetic.
It's Teeeeeeeeee-shirt time! CAB'S HERE, CAB'S HERE!  I think we have a Situation.

Shit machine gun

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« Reply #23 on: Dec 19, 2008, 08:07 AM »
I'm gonna go shit in a Burger King today to even out the karma.


melba the disco queen

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« Reply #24 on: Jan 08, 2009, 09:35 PM »
Quote
During the holidays things get pretty wild in the store; there are hundreds of customers in the store at any given moment, each employee is busy helping customers with at least one or two waiting to be helped afterward & the store is a complete mess. It's a little hectic. Anyway, when I try to work quickly, sometimes my brain doesn't filter what comes out of my mouth; there's a couple of times so far that when I think about what I just said, I crack up.

With the return of regular shopping crowds, my internal editor has also returned thank goodness. Tonight I was drinking my Tim Horton's tea with the bag still in the cup because I like my tea fairly strong; anyway I was getting to the last of the tea, so I tipped the cup up & the bag smacked me in the face. I almost shouted out, "I just got a tea bag to the face!" I started giggling to myself which didn't really make me look much better.