Yep, definately amoongst friends here, we're all here to help you out VCGal, surely there's someone on the forums close to you? Shit if i was anywhere near you i'd chill with you, have a talk, but i'm not, so please feel free to PM me if there's anything you want to talk about..
A friend of mine committed suicide last thursday, and noone even knew there was anything wrong with him, he was 22, i wonder if we'd known and talked with him something might have changed, lost too many people i know from killing themselves, more than i'd like to admit.
Have you tried any medication, it does make a difference, and that's from first hand experience.
Stay strong vcgal, and please let someone know if you're feeling down, you have a family of people from all around the world that would be more than happy to chat, no matter what the time of day.