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Author Topic: Death Calculator  (Read 1589 times)

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Refuckulator

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« Reply #25 on: Oct 21, 2005, 01:56 PM »
According to the death clock i will be 74 instead of 94.
« Last Edit: Oct 21, 2005, 02:02 PM by Refuckulator »
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Ole Dirty

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« Reply #26 on: Oct 21, 2005, 02:23 PM »
When I die, they will have a old Viking king funeral for me...They will place me on a pyre, cremate me, and then spread my ashes to the Atlantic Ocean...My body will be carried to the pyre by big tittied porn stars, and I will have a keg of Keiths, Harley, BBQ Chicken Pizza from Jack's Pizza, Bologney Sandwich, and Angelina Jolie sacrificed along with me, to have in the afterlife...
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"Your life will never be complete...until you snort a coke line off a $10 000 hooker's ass." ~Grandpa Ole Dirty

"Wearing pants is such a hassle" ~ Ole Dirty

"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris."

Bailey

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« Reply #27 on: Oct 21, 2005, 11:49 PM »
Quote from: Ole Dirty on Oct 21, 2005, 02:23 PM
When I die, they will have a old Viking king funeral for me...They will place me on a pyre, cremate me, and then spread my ashes to the Atlantic Ocean...My body will be carried to the pyre by big tittied porn stars, and I will have a keg of Keiths, Harley, BBQ Chicken Pizza from Jack's Pizza, Bologney Sandwich, and Angelina Jolie sacrificed along with me, to have in the afterlife...

LMFAO, dude i love bbq chicken pizza, and anyone who names a pizza by the people who make it must be good, can i come to your funeral? 

If i were to quote  an awesome bbq chicken pizza twould be Rocky's pizza from Charters Towers, only 8 hrs  away.
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Ole Dirty

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« Reply #28 on: Oct 22, 2005, 03:29 AM »
Quote from: Bailey on Oct 21, 2005, 11:49 PM
Quote from: Ole Dirty on Oct 21, 2005, 02:23 PM
When I die, they will have a old Viking king funeral for me...They will place me on a pyre, cremate me, and then spread my ashes to the Atlantic Ocean...My body will be carried to the pyre by big tittied porn stars, and I will have a keg of Keiths, Harley, BBQ Chicken Pizza from Jack's Pizza, Bologney Sandwich, and Angelina Jolie sacrificed along with me, to have in the afterlife...

LMFAO, dude i love bbq chicken pizza, and anyone who names a pizza by the people who make it must be good, can i come to your funeral? 

If i were to quote  an awesome bbq chicken pizza twould be Rocky's pizza from Charters Towers, only 8 hrs  away.

Sure dude, you can be a usher....Unfortunately Djet3k already got the best job of being "personal-assistant" to all the big tittied porn stars...
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Djet3k

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« Reply #29 on: Oct 22, 2005, 11:14 AM »
Quote from: Ole Dirty on Oct 22, 2005, 03:29 AM
Quote from: Bailey on Oct 21, 2005, 11:49 PM
Quote from: Ole Dirty on Oct 21, 2005, 02:23 PM
When I die, they will have a old Viking king funeral for me...They will place me on a pyre, cremate me, and then spread my ashes to the Atlantic Ocean...My body will be carried to the pyre by big tittied porn stars, and I will have a keg of Keiths, Harley, BBQ Chicken Pizza from Jack's Pizza, Bologney Sandwich, and Angelina Jolie sacrificed along with me, to have in the afterlife...

LMFAO, dude i love bbq chicken pizza, and anyone who names a pizza by the people who make it must be good, can i come to your funeral? 

If i were to quote  an awesome bbq chicken pizza twould be Rocky's pizza from Charters Towers, only 8 hrs  away.

Sure dude, you can be a usher....Unfortunately Djet3k already got the best job of being "personal-assistant" to all the big tittied porn stars...

And assist i will

you can count on that buddy they wont leave unsatisfied from your funural like i prommised :)

I got a few tricks up my sleave

*D zips down his pants pullls out the inside of his pockets and does his ellephant impression to give an example of how its going to go down that night  after od is burned out*



« Last Edit: Oct 22, 2005, 07:39 PM by Djet3k »
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"Fuck, fuck, fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, / Mother, mother fuck, fuck / Mother fuck, mother fuck, / Noich noich noich, / 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, / Noich, noich noich / Smokin' weed, smokin' wizz, / Doin' coke, drinkin' beers, / Drinkin' beers, beers, beers, / Rollin' fattys, smokin' blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts."

"Just remember when you control the mail you control....information!"

melba the disco queen

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« Reply #30 on: Oct 22, 2005, 06:09 PM »
When I die, bury me,
Hang my toes from the cherry tree.
When they're ripe,
Take a bite,
Don't blame me if they don't taste right!

P.S. If anyone knows who wrote this let me know (I learned it in grade school & don't remember the author)
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'Do I look absolutely divine and regal, and yet at the same time very pretty and rather accessible?' - Queenie, Black Adder

Saucy Bastard

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« Reply #31 on: Oct 23, 2005, 01:57 AM »
Quote from: melba the disco queen on Oct 22, 2005, 06:09 PM
When I die, bury me,
Hang my toes from the cherry tree.
When they're ripe,
Take a bite,
Don't blame me if they don't taste right!

P.S. If anyone knows who wrote this let me know (I learned it in grade school & don't remember the author)

When I googled "Don't blame me if they don't taste right"

I got lots of similar hit's to your post:

Here's a different version:

Old McDonald, sittin on a fence,
Pickin his balls with a monkey wrentch.
Wrentch got hot, burned his balls,
Pissed all over his overalls.

Went to the Doctor, the Doctor said:
"Sorry sir but your balls are dead".

"When I die, and you bury me,
Hang 'em up on a cherry tree."
"When they're ripe, take a bite,
And don't blame me if they don't taste right!"

or:

Jesus Christ!
Superstar!
Going down the highway on a yamaha!
Cops 're comin!
I don't care!
Cause I got bulletproof underwear!
When I die
bury me!
Hang my balls on a cherry tree!
When they're ripe
take a bite!
Don't blame me
if they don't taste right!

Weird , when doing this google search , I came across alot of these old silly schoolyard rhymes , sparked alot of old memories....but I'd never heard the cherry tree one.


I'd like a thread (probably in "Off Colour" ) , where we could remember and compare similar childhood rhymes from around the world.....
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"Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is." --Will Rogers
"Get off that limb , that's where all the nuts are!" --Mrs. Saucy

-Why use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice?

Canuckguy

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« Reply #32 on: Oct 23, 2005, 02:09 AM »
I answered every question honestly and got this


Based on the answers you submitted,
we estimate that you will be Six Feet Under in the year 2007.

And you will be 30 years old.

In other words, you have 2 years left to live.
So, enjoy them.

 
« Last Edit: Oct 23, 2005, 02:17 AM by Canuckguy »
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EvilTwin

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« Reply #33 on: Oct 23, 2005, 02:29 AM »
Quote from: Canuckguy on Oct 23, 2005, 02:09 AM
I answered every question honestly and got this


Based on the answers you submitted,
we estimate that you will be Six Feet Under in the year 2007.

And you will be 30 years old.

In other words, you have 2 years left to live.
So, enjoy them.

 

Nice knowing ya!
Can I have your toys?
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Canuckguy

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« Reply #34 on: Oct 23, 2005, 02:58 AM »
hahahahah  :ricky:

ok but my modded xbox is promised to a friend :beeer:
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EvilTwin

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« Reply #35 on: Oct 23, 2005, 03:10 AM »
« Last Edit: Oct 23, 2005, 10:01 PM by Canuckguy »
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SgtMeowsteen

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« Reply #36 on: Oct 23, 2005, 10:01 PM »
83 years old I will be dead with 46 left to live.

Not bad....pretty much what I thought it would be.

But will they be healthy, happy & active years ???? :flush:


By the way SAUCY......I remember singing the Jesus Christ Yamaha song on the bus now that I read the lyrics. Imagine a 4th grade girl singing at the top of her lungs "hang my balls on a cherry tree" while standing in the aisle of the bus :lol:
« Last Edit: Oct 23, 2005, 10:09 PM by SgtMeowsteen »
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You might be sexy Julian....but you can't teach me anything about liquor....
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melba the disco queen

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« Reply #37 on: Oct 24, 2005, 11:13 AM »
Never heard the 'balls' version of the song! That's pretty funny, though. I don't remember exactly when/where I learned the version I know, but it was probably music class, so I guess that's why I didn't know the dirty version.

Canuckguy, enjoy those last two years! & Remember to leave instructions with someone to let us know here at the .org that you've expired!
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walterx2

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« Reply #38 on: Oct 24, 2005, 12:56 PM »
I've only got 11 years to go. Looks like me and OD are going to check out at around the same time. Fuck, I doubt if I will make it that long.
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"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." 

William J. Casey - Head of Reagan's CIA after his first staff meeting.

knocknock

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« Reply #39 on: Oct 25, 2005, 07:43 AM »
i still have 35yrs left woot :beeer:
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Fuck off

"long live the org"--Mike Clattenburg
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