OK , on a similar subject ...
Squeeze Relish ?!! What moron has kept this on the market?! The convenience appeals to you? You remember the ease and fun of squeeze ketchup , and squeeze mustard , even squeeze mayo , so , expecting a similar experience you try squeeze relish
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When you start the "bottle" (can plastic really be called a bottle?) , the unit acts as a handy relish liquid separator , drenching your bun (hopefully , you started with the squeeze mayonnaise , imparting partial waterproofness to said bun , allowing for a certain degree of run off ) with a pale green liquid. Yes , you do get some relish , but the experience is far from simple , and a sour taste is left in your mouth (literally ANd figuratively) by said separation. As you progress through the bottle , with each successive squeeze , you decrease the overall moisture content of the product. "A good thing" , you might say ,but no , the lower moisture content increases the coefficient of friction between the relish chunks ( now quite dry , by relish standards ) , and the bottle orifice , or shall I say NOZZEL?! The bottle of squeeze relish has now become a relish projectile device! Yes , projectile! The thick relish jams in the nozzle , increasing the pressure in the bottle , and when the little chunks finally let go , watch out , that relish can have some serious velocity behind it!! Of you have a thick layer of mayo and ketchup already laid down on the bun , you are sure to have a red white and green mess surrounding your burger preparation zone....
So , my friends , if you haven't experienced this already , ( and if you have ,then I'm probably just preaching to the converted) , then JUST PASS IT BY! Go for the little squat jar instead ! Don't be seduced by the ketchup and mustard paired up with the relish , in those sexy little "picnic/BBQ" tri packs !
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