Topic: A couple of giggles!

[Vancouver]

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES

Say the words out loud.

1) That's not right......................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? . Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP....................... Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man........................... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse........................... Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach? . Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table....... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift........... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet.... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone.......... No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week....... Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight................. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile.... Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...... Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great..................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

[Ms Vee]

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES

Say the words out loud.

1) That's not right......................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? . Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP....................... Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man........................... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse........................... Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach? . Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table....... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift........... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet.... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone.......... No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week....... Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight................. Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile.... Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...... Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great..................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

[Vancouver]

I knew you'd apprieciate that MsVee

My personal fav.:
"7) I bumped into a coffee table....... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni"

[DavidB_Bubbles]

Got this in an e-mail today and it totally cracked me up 

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids
could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the
other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank
top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24."

[golfinwithflames]

A man is in the back of a crowded elevator at a hotel. A woman gets on and he says "ballroom please." She replies with "I'm sorry, I didn't know I was crowding you."

[DavidB_Bubbles]

A look inside the diaries of cats & dogs 


The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!







The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and
I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now ...

[cart girl]

Why shouldn't women drink beer at the beach?

















'cuz they might get sand in their Schlitz

[trice]

A look inside the diaries of cats & dogs 


The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!







The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and
I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now ...

  I loved this..thanks Bubs